my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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