Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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