Jerry, you need to find god
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
