I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
