But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
even my farts smell like vagina
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
