I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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