Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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