Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
