The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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