i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
