Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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