fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
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