She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
