Your tits are I can't wait for
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
