FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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