I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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