I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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