i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
