He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
