I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
