No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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