defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
