some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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