dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
