sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
