I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
