I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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