I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
