I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
