whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
