Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
