He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
