Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
