We need to start having sex underwater more often.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
