i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just threw up on my dentist
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
