I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
