I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
