who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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