Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
