And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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