I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
