I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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