so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
