I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
