final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
