It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
