i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
