there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
