so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
