I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Randomize
