Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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