you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
