He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
