He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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