Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
