So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
